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I believe that there's a reason for everything that happens. That there are lessons to be learned everywhere you turn. That I'm living, breathing, growing, learning -- and that that in itself -- I am here, like clay in the Potter's hands.

There has been a lot of joy in the journey. There's been a lot of sadness too, but then someone taught me how to laugh through the tears. It helped. Then there are the times I've laughed so hard that I cried. Those were sweet tears. I cherish the memory of that summer.

I want to capture the special moments in my life and have them always to relive and to remember. To know, to hold dear, to cherish. To love.

I love. I love innocently; I love entirely and passionately. I love when there is everything to do; I love when there is nothing left to do. I love even in the brokenness and in the pain. I love in the silences when words are not enough. I believe that love can heal anything and everything. But I have learned that love can only do what we allow it to, and that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

I learned this the hard way. I lost everything, but I gained everything, too. Learning things the hard way always has a heavy cost, and I paid the price for my mistakes in more ways than I can count. But I learned so much -- I learned how to move on. I learned that I have the most amazing friends in the whole wide world, the best friends that a girl could ever ask for. I learned that failure is not the end of the road, but only the beginning of a new path towards a road that is better than I could ever have dreamed. I learned that even though I can't see why, God always knows. It took me six months to see the beauty rise out of the ashes, but at long last, I am at peace with myself.

I am six years old going on twenty-four, and in many ways I'm still holding tightly onto my childhood, even though I'm slowly coming to the realization that I am growing up. I still miss Gigle, and long to hold him in my arms again. He was my first confidant and friend, the rock, the steady force in my life when everything around me was changing. He was torn and tattered, but he was real. And I loved him. I still love him today. I will never forget the soft, velvety feeling of his snout between my fingers. They will never replace my first love, but today, Snout, Pinky, and Blueberry carry the legacy on together.

I am a musician. I'm a classically trained solo pianist who's learning where a keyboardist fits in with a band. My dream is to lead praise -- be it from the shower, in our soundbooth - the Starship Enterprise, or the stage. I'm an aspiring singer-songwriter; music lives in my soul. I write to unleash the emotion and passion, the pain and the joy, the sorrow and the tenderness. I sing because I know no other way than this. I play because I love to dance. I love to live. I love life.

One day, I want to swim with dolphins.

I used to think something was wrong with me because I couldn't belt like Rachael Lampa or Eden Espinosa could. I tried for years to sing like them, but I could never do it, and I became insecure in my singing. It took me many years to realize that I didn't have to be able to belt to be able to consider myself a good singer. I still can't sing like Nichole Nordeman or Angela Aki, but I'm a lot more comfortable with my voice now. My vocal range is likely most comfortably alto, but I can't sing the alto part without much effort and much trial-and-error.

I graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Neuroscience from the University of California, Riverside in the spring of 2006. I am a scientist. It took me many years to realize this fact. But I want more this; I want more than just science and understanding. I want to use what I know to serve others. I want my fingers to dance in perfect concert over the keys alongside the gifted hands of other nurses and doctors, an entire orchestra working together to unleash the beautiful symphony of healing.

I want to be a doctor. A pediatric neurosurgeon, to be exact. The brain fascinates me like nothing else can. Nothing would thrill me more than to be given the opportunity to work with children and to help make them whole again, inside and out.

I am a medical student in my second year at Loma Linda University School of Medicine. A fairy doctorperson-in-training, so to speak. Or more officially, I am the words that make me grin the silliest, widest, most childish grin ever possible -- I am a student physician.

I am vulnerable, and it's in my vulnerability that I find my strength. Sometimes, this statement makes sense to no one else but me. Nearly half the time, when I say things, people have a hard time following me. This is because while my mind moves through my thought processes, I forget that people can't read my mind. This has alternately amused and annoyed my mother, my friends, and my family, as I will often launch into rambling about something when other people think I'm on the topic I was two seconds ago.

I mumble a lot. My mother has taken to leaving any messages I leave on our answering machine for me to listen to. This is alternately my fault and alternately not my fault, because sometimes I'm in the library and have to call her. Since we don't pick up unless we know who's calling, I have to mumble. Most of the time though, I just mumble because I mumble. Interestingly enough, I can also enunciate very clearly when I take the effort to. I frequently modulate the sound of my voice without realizing it -- a relic from my days as an aspiring voice actress; the days when my most cherished voice role was that of Usagi Tsukino. I became especially good at voicing children and toddlers. These days, I do it for my own amusement.

I am an idealist by nature and an optimist by virtue. I am passionate; my passion drives me to do what I do. I am exuberant. I am a joyful, playful being. I'm often described as extroverted, but I can also be very shy. I am introspective. I love to tease, and I often tease much more than I really should. I have been described as a "goofball"; I am weird in nearly every way that one can be weird. I have geek in me; I learned to code for a MUD. I love to roleplay; my greatest achievement was a blind nymph named Aoi who broke all the rules of what was possible, both in the world and out.

I have a disturbing lack of humility sometimes. Most of all, I struggle with complete surrender. I like to be in control of what is going on -- especially my life. I have always had a Plan, and as much as I want to embrace the knowledge that His ways are better than my ways, my pride sometimes keeps me from it. Some days I'm too busy for God, and this is when I lose my focus. Bad things happen when I lose my focus, but I tend to learn things the hard way. I want to worship truly, fully and without inhibition. I long to make worship my way of life.

I need a lot of sleep, but sometimes I force myself to stay up for absolutely no reason. There are days where I don't know what I do with my time. I was never the best at time management. If I was better at it, I could change the world.

I love to eat. It was once joked that while $150 could have bought me a LiveJournal permanent account in the 2005 Permanent Account Sale, it could also have bought groceries for three weeks. Or, in my case, three days. Clicking around the links at LiveJournal about the permanent account sale led me to LiveJournal Support, where I began answering questions. Two months later, I earned my first set of interim privs in the Style Systems category. In January, the Permanent Account Yeti decided to thwack me hard with his club. I hyperventilated so much I cried. Three days later, I was priv-playing in styles. A week after that, I earned Supporthelp. Two months after that, I was asked to become Admiral of the Blinkie Ponie Armie and thus became an admin of the Style Systems category. I hyperventilated again.

I love milk chocolate and strawberry pocky, and honeydew ice-cream in a waffle cone. I crave sushi with yamagobo, bean curd, avocado, and cucumber. I love miso soup, and I live for the days when my mother boils ham choi tong. I love to nibble at bits of smoked Gouda cheese. I treat myself to strawberry ice-cream mochi on occassion, and I enjoy the softness of tender red bean mochi. I don't like the smell of coffee, but I enjoy going to Starbucks, and I enjoy sipping the amazing frappucino blend that is their tangerine and strawberry with Tazo Passion tea -- and lots of whipped cream, of course. I love the effervescence of the sugar and lemon and peaches and tea of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's Snow Angel, the invigorating wash of iced tea and lemon, and the warmth of milk and honey and vanilla. I love flowers and fried fish; sweet, simple things can touch me and make me melt. Give me $3 worth of fried bak-chong yu anyday over a $30 plate of food at some fine restaurant. Fried fish balls from the supermarket on the bottom floor of the Takashimaya in Singapore, 3 on a stick for a dollar make me squeal in ecstacy. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Still, at the end of the day, I'm still the same little girl that sits there at night staring up at the stars in silent awe, delighting in the utterly beautiful love of the dog stretched out next to her, head settled in on her lap.

I'm Prissi.